1. Home
  2. The Community Policies & Guideliness
  3. Rules For Requesting Support & Replying To Requests

Rules For Requesting Support & Replying To Requests

The rules below apply to the “Requests for Support” Posts in the Community.

Comments that violate these rules will be removed. The commenter will be notified why the comment was removed and what they can do differently so their comment is approved. If your comment is removed, please do not contact Marshall and his team to discuss it. Our decisions are final.

Rules For Requesting Support:

  1. Be specific about what you need in terms of support: Care, witness, being believed, being heard
  2. Do not include graphic details of violence or harm in your comment, including sexualized violence, physical violence of any type, suicide, mentions of murder
  3. Do not mention names of others involved
  4. Do not vent; venting is where a person shares all the details and emotions they have about a situation in order to get it off their mind or chest, so to speak. You can vent here: https://fd.freesetheslf.com
    1. Venting example: “I am so tired of my ex and his bullshit! I can’t take this. It is so, so frustrating. I hate him!”
    2. Support example: “Hey guys! I’m feeling really worn down by my ex’s behavior. He’s at it again and I need to know that I’m not causing this and that I’m not crazy.”
  5. Do not mention spiritual, religious, or political topics in your comments; please review the Rules Governing Spiritual and Religious Discussion
  6. Trigger warnings:
    • I ask that trigger warnings be applied to any comment that involves:
      • Sexualized violence
      • Physical violence in any form
      • Mentioning of suicide
      • Mentioning of death and severe illnesses
      • Detailed descriptions of emotional/physical/mental cruelty

Rules for RESPONDING To Requests For Support:

  1. Remember these two steps: Acknowledge & Empathize
    1. Acknowledgment shows up as: “I see you and hear you. I can see how activating this is for you.” You are reflecting back to the person what they’ve communicated
    2. Empathizing is where you share your care for them in their lived experience. “I hold care and warmth for you in this. I know (or imagine, if you’ve not experienced it) how difficult this can be. I am listening.”
    3. This is all that is needed when offering support.
  2. If you have a resource of idea that may help them, ask them if they’re open to it before offering it. If they accept, then offer the resource.
  3. Believe the commenter. Do not question their take on their reality.
  4. Do not mention spiritual, religious, or political topics in your comments; please review the Rules Governing Spiritual and Religious Discussion
  5. Do not dig on trauma and pain. Simply acknowledge and empathize.
    1. This involves digging into their pain with probing questions or trying to “unearth” trauma or
  6. Do not respond to comments where you feel an emotional charge. Instead, step away for a few hours, soothe your reaction and care for yourself
  7. Do not include graphic details of violence or harm in your comment, including sexualized violence, physical violence of any type, suicide, mentions of murder in your reply. This DOES NOT HELP.
  8. Do not promote yourself by linking to resources you’ve created; you’ll be removed without notice
  9. Do not argue with commenters: If you have a disagreement, complaint, or concern, take to a private conversation with that person. Do not contact Marshall or his team. We will not mediate conflict or disagreements between community members.
  10. No aggression: If a commenter is accusatory or aggressive, the commenter will automatically be placed on post approval and discussion of the post’s approach will begin in the threads of the post.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Related Articles

Need Support?

Can't find the answer you're looking for?
Contact Support