Perfectionism is a symptom of having one’s identity and worth fused with one’s behavior and output.
Differentiating and detangling one’s self from one’s results is a process of releasing shame, embracing boundaries, and deeply connecting with and embodying one’s innate, sovereign worth.
It also entails incorporating a shift into discovery and curiosity as a way of life.
Use this quick-list to help guide in you in embracing your natural ability to discover and grow.
- Is frequently paralyzed by fear or anxiety when doing new or different things
- Outcomes determine worth
- Feels stuck, hopeless, or powerless
- Avoids risk and failure as much as possible
- High anxiety and depression are present
- Tries to control outside factors to feel safe
- Tries to do it all themselves
- Expectations that are unrealistic for outcomes and for self
- Shames and criticizes one’s self
- Ignores successes, magnifies failures
- Tries to prevent rejection, failure, and other people’s disappointment by being perfect
DISCOVERY & GROWTH
- Curious about outcomes
- Praises and appreciates one’s efforts
- Invites discovery and allows outcomes to inform and teach them
- Accepts one’s limitations
- Celebrates success, learns from failure
- Focuses sense of self on ability to learn rather than perform
- Seeks out appropriate, qualified help in areas they are seeking support in
- Practices self-care in failure and success
- Surrounds self with supportive, loving, honest people
- Their sense of worth emanates from their natural worthiness