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Perfectionism vs Discovery & Growth

Perfectionism is a symptom of having one’s identity and worth fused with one’s behavior and output.

Differentiating and detangling one’s self from one’s results is a process of releasing shame, embracing boundaries, and deeply connecting with and embodying one’s innate, sovereign worth.

It also entails incorporating a shift into discovery and curiosity as a way of life.

Use this quick-list to help guide in you in embracing your natural ability to discover and grow.


  • Is frequently paralyzed by fear or anxiety when doing new or different things
  • Outcomes determine worth
  • Feels stuck, hopeless, or powerless
  • Avoids risk and failure as much as possible
  • High anxiety and depression are present
  • Tries to control outside factors to feel safe
  • Tries to do it all themselves
  • Expectations that are unrealistic for outcomes and for self
  • Shames and criticizes one’s self
  • Ignores successes, magnifies failures
  • Tries to prevent rejection, failure, and other people’s disappointment by being perfect


  • Curious about outcomes
  • Praises and appreciates one’s efforts
  • Invites discovery and allows outcomes to inform and teach them
  • Accepts one’s limitations
  • Celebrates success, learns from failure
  • Focuses sense of self on ability to learn rather than perform
  • Seeks out appropriate, qualified help in areas they are seeking support in
  • Practices self-care in failure and success
  • Surrounds self with supportive, loving, honest people
  • Their sense of worth emanates from their natural worthiness
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