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General Rules For The Community

The General Rules For The Community Are Outlined Below:

  1. No screen-shotting or making copies of posts, comments, pics or any material in the Community. Do not send any information to 3rd party sources. Ever. If this is reported, you will be removed immediately.
  2. Do not argue with commenters: If their comment hasn’t violated a rule, and you have a disagreement or complaint, move to a private conversation with that person. Do not contact Marshall or his team. We will not mediate conflict or disagreements between community members.
  3. Trigger warnings:
    • I ask that trigger warnings be applied to any comment that involves:
      • Sexualized violence
      • Physical violence in any form
      • Mentioning of suicide
      • Mentioning of death and severe illnesses
      • Detailed descriptions of emotional/physical/mental cruelty
    • All that is necessary for a trigger warning is: “trigger warning about sensitive content ahead”
  4. No sharing of information outside the Community about other people’s struggles or experiences. Keep it private. Anyone that violates this rule is removed without warning.
  5. Play, share and express yourself as inspired and as you feel safe to
  6. Safety first. Do what is safe for you and avoid what is not. You are your best guide.
  7. Ask consent before private chatting Community members (if you’re a coach, do not ask to private message as moderators and admins will consider this an act of poaching)
  8. Avoid telling members what to do regarding their problems and challenges. Remember to ask questions instead!
  9. Do not label other members as narcissists, borderliners, etc. ; instead label behaviors (per rule #9 below)
  10. Be mindful not to label their partners, etc, as narcissists, although I understand if this happens; instead, label behaviors (rule #10 below)
  11. Label behaviors (e.g, that is codependent behavior, abusive behavior, narcissistic behavior, etc)
  12. No martyrdom – if bullying or a problem is happening, tag Marshall Burtcher in the post and let him take care of it
  13. Be mindful of your use of caps and of your tone within comments or posts. Refrain from accusations against others where there’s no evidence for the claimed behavior. Attempt to be direct, clear, and kind when sharing fear, hurt, pain. Assume positive intent here in The Community.
  14. If you attempt to use shame, guilt, or manipulation to get something from The Community, you will be removed without notice.
    • This includes posts that threaten to leave if the person doesn’t get x, y, or z responses. It includes making unspecific claims about the community or its members that attempt to shame or guilt it into responding how one expects.
    • Examples:
      • “I’m gonna leave if I don’t get support” or “Some of you are supportive, but I’m not gonna share because some of you are not” or “I’m thinking of leaving because I didn’t get what I expected from the group when I posted my post…”.
  15. If there are concerns about a comment or post, please communicate them to the Admin, Assistants, or Moderators. It will need to be specific and clear as to what the concern is.
    • A generalized concern, such as, “I don’t feel supported here”, is not something that the Community is responsible to. It may be that you’re not in the correct group or that people do not relate to your struggle.
    • A specific concern, such as, “I was called a name in this comment” is something moderators or admins can help with.
  16. Any person outing themselves as a narcissist will be removed without notice.
  17. Any person using a fake account to spy or intrude will be removed without notice.
  18. Topics posted and shared about must relate to codependency. Discussion in comments, about off topics that become argumentative, combative, or disrespectful will be removed. You’re welcome to discuss a concept to clarify its relationship to codependency. If it delves into an argument or into teaching people HOW to do/be/have that thing, the Admin or moderators may ask that the discussion resume outside the Community.
    • The Community is focused on healing and on living beyond codependency. If the topic doesn’t pertain to this, the Admin or his moderators may ask to have the conversation directed outside the group, especially if it a topic that tends to be contentious.
  19. FOR COACHES AND THERAPISTS: We implemented the following rules after several members were exploited by unhealthy and predatory actions from coaches and therapists.
    1. NO PROMOTION OR CONTACTING MEMBERS. You’ll be removed immediately without warning.
    2. Instead, respond to member’s posts.
    3. Do not promote yourself or your services. No hints to it either (i.e. when I coach my clients…). Actually connect with the person you’re talking with.
    4. TO JOIN THE COMMUNITY: Contact Marshall Burtcher personally and request to be added. This prevents poachers and spammers from entering the community and protects the work members are doing. You can do that here: The FTS Helpdesk
  20. Memes and images shared need to be relevant to the context of The Community, not depict violence towards others or self, or communicate violence towards others or self (i.e. no images or talk of suicide, killing one’s self, harming others, self-harm, etc)
  21. Do not make comments putting down other members or mentioning past conflicts with them. While there can be disagreements and incompatibilities, it is not necessary to put down others whom one may have had bad experiences with. Resolve these conflicts in private chat and not bring them to Admins, Moderators, or Assistants as these private conflicts are not Community business. Posts that do such will be removed without notice.
  22. Do not share traumatic or violent experiences in response to posts or comments. Respond directly to the commenter or post creator about their situation. Posts or comments that do this will be removed without notice.
  23. We Do Not Allow Spiritual Or Religion Discussion Or Mentions
    • We are a non-religious community. This was chosen due to the high frequency of members coming from religious abuse backgrounds.This means we do not allow discussion of spiritual or religious concepts and we do not allow the use of spiritual or religious phrases, terminology, reference. This includes “God bless you” and “praying for you” or “sending you love and light” or “Turn to Jesus” and so forth.This applies to posting memes and materials by spiritual practitioners. You are welcome to say, “lean on your higher power” or “call to any higher power you might believe in”.
    • Generally, your comment or post will be removed without notice if it violates this rule
    • On occasion, you may receive a correction and a request to change to the post or comment
    • If you receive a correction about your use of religious or spiritual terminology, please correct your post or comment asap. This won’t be negotiated
    • It is understandable if this rule feels restrictive and limiting. It is restrictive an limiting and foreign in groups like these. It is been put in place to reduce the unnecessary activation and bypassing of pain in members
    • Please do not share material from spiritual or religious gurus, including Teal Swan, Echkart Tolle, Ram Das, Abraham Hicks, Louis Hayes, and so forth. Content shared of theirs will be removed without notice
    • Discuss and share religious and spiritual materials, concepts, and so forth in the Free Discussion Group here: https://fd.freetheself.com
  24. Administrators reserve the right to remove comments and members at anytime if they deem it necessary for the well-being of the group, with or without notice.

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