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Emotional Bypassing vs Care

I was taught to emotionally bypass my experience. This happened in the religious culture I grew up in and was amplified by the new age spirituality I dove into during the early days of my recover.

As I’ve healed and grown a warm, nurturing relationship with my emotional world, I learned what was bypassing and what was caring for me emotionally.

Use this quick-list to guide you in your healing and growth.

Note: Quick-lists & Infographics are snapshots on a concept or topic. They are, by nature, limited in their scope. It is entirely expected that the quick-list does not cover everything or may lack certain nuances. Keep that in mind while using them.

BYPASSING

  • Uses positivity as the only response to pain and unpleasant emotions
  • Denies adverse experiences and their impact
  • Blames the victim for harm others did to them (aka you attracted it/manifested it)
  • Ignores the painful emotional elements involved in a person’s experience
  • Ignores their natural powerlessness in life (for example: thinks they can control others)
  • Denies the lived experience others have when they’re painful, tragic, or negative
  • Excuses other people’s bad behavior, abuse, and/or neglect
  • May struggle to identify one’s own emotions
  • Struggle to hold care and space for the pain and discomfort others experience

CARE

  • Curious about the emotional experience of the person involved
  • See’s painful and adverse experiences as valid and legitimate
  • Values and empathizes with the individual’s experience
  • Holds gentle space, allowing the person to navigate their emotions and experience on their terms
  • Offers help only when asked or when they get consent by asking
  • Honest, gentle and kind in giving feedback
  • Understands and accepts the negative that exists in life
  • Values all emotions
  • Has warmth and care for their experience and feelings

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