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Codependency vs Interdepence

Interdependency was foreign to me for a long time. It felt like I was learning to live in a different culture, language, and world. It was especially confusing at first as I couldn’t see the differences between interdependence and codependence.

This quick-list gives you insights into the differences I learned in my journey in building healthy interdependent connections with others.

Use it to guide you in your own growth and healing.

Note: Quick-lists & Infographics are snapshots on a concept or topic. They are, by nature, limited in their scope. It is entirely expected that the quick-list does not cover everything or may lack certain nuances. Keep that in mind while using them.

CODEPENDENCY

  • Give up self to get their approval
  • Seeks value through approval and praise
  • Apologizes for existing, having boundaries, being different, having feelings, wants, needs
  • Absorbing the other person’s life as their own
  • Emotionally enmeshed
  • Seeks self through the relationship
  • Attempts to fix problems and feelings of others in order to be valuable to them
  • Over-empathizes by absorbing the responsibility for other’s pain and situations
  • Ignores and denies their own feelings
  • Blurry boundaries & muddy sense of self

INTERDEPENDENCE

  • Acknowledges & respects the individual thoughts, feelings, wants, needs of each other
  • Keeping your worth, identity, and sense of self while asking for their contribution to your needs and wants
  • Sharing yourself as you are; receiving them as they are
  • Having personal goals and desires while also sharing in mutual goals and desires
  • Feeling secure to rely on the other to hold shelter and space for you & vice versa
  • Needs and wants are mutually respected and valued
  • Individuality and the mutual relationship are valued
  • Clear boundaries and definition of self
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